Hey There

A few months after my second son was born, I started yoga classes. It was to get out of the house for some ‘me time’, and get some exercise. The yoga classes led to meditation classes. I started Reiki training. I purchased many books on creativity, chakras, energy healing, and intuition.

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In my mid 30’s, I really started to question life and the purpose of existing. I felt lost, empty, unhappy, like a lab rat stuck in a maze with the same mundane routine everyday. On the surface, I had it all: good education, husband, two kids, health, comfortable home, new car, great career and well paying job. Why was I not happy? What was missing?

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I thought it was just a phase: tired, not enough sleep, this persisted and deepened, but I went on with my daily life, trying to appear happy. One night as I was putting my 5 year old son to bed, he asked me ‘why are you always so sad?’ My heart crumpled even more, this amazing young man could see right through me. All I could answer was ‘I don’t know, but that I loved him’.

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It was time for me to do something, I needed a change. I didn’t have anyone in my life that understood what I was going through. I tried counselling, but that didn’t help, they only provided superficial advice. I felt alone and isolated. I wasn’t sure who or what I was talking to, but I began to ask myself and the universe why I was here, ‘What’s the purpose?’, ‘What is my purpose?’, ‘I want to be happy.’ ‘Please help me!’

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It took a couple more years for real change to start happening. We rarely took a family vacation, but we went on a big vacation on the week of my 38th birthday. I was looking at our family photos after, I looked sad, had excess weight, and I wore drab clothes which reflected how I felt. That spring, I started running again, and in the summer I joined a bootcamp exercise group. I was starting to feel better physically, and being in the exercise group was uplifting emotionally too. I had my 'colours' done, and the best colours for me were bright, fuchsia, purple, jade, vibrant blue.... none of the dreary colours that I was wearing. As I changed my wardrobe to colours that better suited me, I noticed that my emotional state was also enhanced.

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Throughout my life I’ve had many ‘weird’ experiences and premonitions, and considered the possibility of reincarnation, now I strongly believe in it. A co-worker told me she had a vision of me in a past life, she suggested that as I went to sleep that night, I ask for more information on that life. In my dreams, I was shown more. These dreams were different, it was just a clear knowing that this was different, these dreams were vivid, real, from another time, me in another life. I saw myself with my children. It would still be a long time before I understand the messages from that past life.

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A few months later, the big change for me came with separation, and divorce later. I was an emotional wreck, and was barely eating and sleeping; I lost a significant amount of weight. I was asking myself if I was doing the "right" thing, and should I have stuck it out for the kids. I saw a psychic a couple times that year, finally I’d found someone who understood what I was going through. One piece of advice from her that still sticks with me is ‘If you have to be talked into it, it’s probably not a good thing’, this was related to a career question, but I’ve found it applicable throughout all parts of life.

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After the separation, she told me my chakras were a mess and that I needed to get them in order. I knew a little about chakras from yoga and my books, but I had no idea how to heal them. She helped me through that transition period; I returned for several sessions with her, and she helped me start a regular meditation practice. These sessions and the bootcamp classes were my therapy. When I was 40, someone said I was ‘blossoming’, the real me was starting to emerge.

 

I continued to ask the universe questions, asking for teachers, how to access my intuition and healing abilities consciously, rather than just in random dreams or through someone else. The teachers started to show up, each the perfect teacher for what I needed at that time. I took many courses, but these teachers taught me my biggest lessons through helping me heal my own shadows, releasing demons, attachments, curses, psychic attacks, past lives, karma, family and ancestral issues, and allowing forgiveness of others and myself. As I heal a part of me, another layer emerges when it is ready to be healed. There are a lot of layers!

 

My life took another major twist. After 25 years in a chemistry career, the universe gave me a kick to transition towards a new career, embrace my spiritual side, listen to my soul, and balance that with physical health.

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I continued my education with a Life Coaching course, and then returned to university to complete a degree in Psychology. Now, I'm on to herbology and nutrition. Always more to learn!

 

Life is a journey of mountains and valleys, challenges and lessons, and hopefully a lot of joy. As I continue on my path of life-long learning and transformation, I hope to share those lessons with others to make their journey flow smoother. My purpose is to help others re-ignite their own inner light to shine, illuminating their path forward.

 

I believe everything is connected energetically; we are not only physical beings, we are also spiritual bundles of energy.

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My latest shift... I changed my name. Click here to read the blog I wrote about it.